No Shoes…Big Problem!

I am an extremely organized individual; some people (who shall remain nameless, but you know who you are) have even called me obsessive compulsive.  I make lists, I have a place for everything, I am always early for appointments, I check, double-check and triple check to make sure I have everything I need before leaving my house for appointments or to run errands.  Given this, the events of the past few days have me a little worried because I have forgotten some really important things when going out in public.    

It started on Saturday when I decided to accompany Mark and Nicholas to Wal-Mart.  I threw on my clothes, made a quick shopping list, picked up my handbag and got into the car.  I buckled my seat belt and settled in for the short trip.  About halfway there, I suddenly realized I had forgotten to put on my bra!  “Oh, my God, I forgot my bra”, I shouted quite panicked.  Mark and Nicholas burst into laughter while I sat there trying to figure out what to do.  I knew Mark was not about to turn the car around and take me back home in order to remedy the situation.  I was completely mortified since the girls aren’t as perky as they once were and there has been no augmentation (oh, how I longed for silicone at that moment).  The thought of entering that store bra-less made me more than a little nauseous.  Luckily, I was wearing an ill-fitting (baggy) hoodie over my t-shirt.  It was my saving grace.  I zipped the hoodie up as far as possible and held my large handbag in front of me.  I am certain this only called more attention to me as I walked with my head down avoiding eye contact and clutching my bag tightly as if trying to protect myself from a possible mugging.  I entered the store, gathered the items on my list, paid for them and made a hasty beeline to the car.  My family had a good laugh at my expense and I even found it funny once it was over and done with.  However, this would not be the end of my memory lapse.

Yesterday, I showered, got dressed and waited for my kids to get in from school so we could run an errand.  The kids came in, I told them we were headed out and they, along with Mark, went ahead to the car.  I remained inside, grabbed my cell phone, some receipts I needed, made sure I had my wallet and handbag and made certain I was wearing a bra…bra on, check.  I was ready to go and felt certain that the bra incident was just a one-time occurrence.  I exited the door, locked it and headed down the driveway to the car.  I felt a burning sensation on the bottoms of my feet from the hot driveway and it was then that I realized I had forgotten to put on shoes.  There I stood, barefoot and flabbergasted staring at Mark through the windshield.  He looked puzzled, so I pointed to my feet.  I could not hear his laughter, but I could certainly see how amused he was over my latest faux pas.  I unlocked the door and went back inside to retrieve my missing footwear.  When I got into the car, the kids and Mark were once again enjoying a good laugh courtesy of me.  I was simply stunned that this had happened again.

These incidents have caused me concern over my well-being.  I cannot figure out what would cause a person to forget to wear important articles of clothing.  I thought I could possibly have a brain tumor or some other neurological disease causing my memory lapses, but then I heard Arnold Schwarzenegger’s voice from Kindergarten Cop saying “It’z not a tuma”, so I don’t really think that is the problem.  I do not feel unusually stressed.   Maybe it is Spring fever or excessive daydreaming.  It could be my mind’s way of telling me I need a long vacation, perhaps to a location where bras and shoes are not required.  Just to be safe, I decided to pack and place an overnight bag in my car, complete with shoes and a full change of clothing, in case the next time I go out I discover I have forgotten more than just my bra and shoes and am completely naked.  Hopefully, I will realize it before anyone else does!

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